SMARTLESSHOSTED BYJASON BATEMAN, SEAN HAYES, WILL ARNETT
"SmartLess" with Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, & Will Arnett is a podcast that connects and unites people from all walks of life to learn about shared experiences through thoughtful dialogue and organic hilarity. A nice surprise: in each episode of SmartLess, one of the hosts reveals his mystery guest to the other two. What ensues is a genuinely improvised and authentic conversation filled with laughter and newfound knowledge to feed the SmartLess mind.
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Warning. At least we know where you are. When they saw that I was, you know, really, really wanting to pursue that career path. And then I was also blessed because, you know, I wrote Runaway when I was 20. So That's great. I got a record deal at 21. Yeah. I want that was your first hit in in 1983. I put that out independently without the band, and then, got a record deal. And it's been the same record deal for 40 years. Wow. That's great. Was it ever what did you so you started singing so young, that was it was it was singing uncool at that age? You know? Because, like, when I was a little kid, like, I always just thought singing was not was not was not cool because I was so young. What was it like at your age, when you did it? All the centerfolds of Circus Magazine was pretty cool. Yeah. But, you know, in the late seventies, it was Led Zeppelin and Aerosmith and Yeah. Queen and and Lynyrd Skynyrd and Springsteen and all the. And then remember that Bruce Springsteen and Southside Johnny were from 25 miles south of my house. Wow. So chances are with 10 Asbury Jukes and 7 members of the E Street Band, by playing in those bars, you're gonna see real live rock stars. Right. And when you're 16, that's like seeing Santa Claus. Yeah. You know? So all of these things were incredibly inspirational. And being a lead singer in a rock band, mister Jason I know. Yeah. Was pretty fucking good. Yeah. I was gonna yeah. I was gonna ask more about ballads probably in my head as opposed to a rock and rock. No. The ballads work. The ballads work. I They work too. Alright? You kidding? Of course, the ballads work. Are you crazy, JB? Think it through you, dude. Are yeah. Are you but here's what blows my mind about your voice. I always comment about how like, your, your pipes are just incredible. The fact that woah. I mean, that's, like, stuff way, way, way, way up there, and not a lot of people can do that. Strong.
Allowed to do anything. And, so, like, for me, I guess it wasn't, like, being brave in terms of, like, jumping off a cliff but it was, like, leaving a religion, giving handjobs. Like, there were, you know, there were the things that I had to say. That was the first thing. Wow. And that's why and that's why I joined. So Well, that's what led you to leave. Ultimately, one of the things. Right? You you were 28. Yes. I left at 20. I had a I I touched a penis for the first time in 28. Is that true? 28. That is true. Yeah. It was it was touching the penis. The thing that that that opened the It was. It really is. Gateway. Penis was the gateway drug. The penis was the gateway. Yep. Yeah. When did you have your first coke? Coca Cola. Like Coca Cola? How do I choose to say 8 AM? I was like, we were kind kind of more drank Coca Cola, but I didn't have my first coffee until I was 28. And I remember, like, being so afraid to order it just because I didn't have a fever. Happened at 28? Everything because I left it. 28. Yeah. Once I touched a dick, I was, you know Yeah. Yeah. Tell me about it. Same. Yeah. Yeah. Tell me about it. Catholicism. Same thing. So, wait, did you is your do you sell family members in the church? Everyone. Yeah. Everyone is still you have a good relationship? Decent. Yeah. Great. Yeah. Johnny, what about you? Well, starting with decent. I mean, I I'd love to dig into that a little bit. You're you're open with decent. I'm gonna take you word of because I realized they hear this wonderful relationship. By the way, if they're listening to this, then they're lapsed, and then they're just as guilty as you are. And now the playing field is leveled. Yeah. But Johnny, do you I need to what denomination did you grow up in? Catholicism. Oh, southern baptist. It was it was in case. I knew that. Yeah. That's right. Was it hardcore? It well, it It I didn't realize it was pretty how intense it was at the time. But
Between Jeff and Skippy. Sorry. Go ahead. Let's do it. When his blood sugar is low. Okay? Yep. Because he's got diabetes. He'll go in the pantry and scoop out a spoonful of peanut butter. And every time, any one of us Wait. What a cat. Goes to get peanut butter, Ricky, the dog, can smell it, and he comes over there and sits, then he drools. Yeah. Like crazy. And a and there's, like, a puddle of his dog spit. So Sure. It's a bit. Cute and disgusting all the same time. And it's created a bad habit because we always cave in and give him some peanut butter. So now we have to find a way to sneak the peanut butter when the dog is sleeping in another room. So this morning, I walked by the bathroom near the kitchen, and I'm like, are you in there? And he said, He said, yeah. I'm eating peanut butter. I said, in the bathroom? Jesus. Yeah. It's the only way to avoid the dog. Boy. Is that when yeah. I What? Yeah. It's just, when I was a kid, that was the only place to get privacy, and I would do different things in the bathroom than stay eating up butter. He has a he really truly brought the jar of peanut butter. But you know what? Both you and Scotty have the same you you end up with the same result. Right? You both finished. I thought I thought that was odd and funny. Guys It was. This definitely. Here's somebody who's funny but not odd. How about that? Not great, but go ahead. He's a very talented pal, of mine. He's had more success than the 3 of us combined. Like many comedians, he's got stand up and Saturday night live on his resume. Mhmm. But before making his mark on the comedy zeitgeist of the last half century, he got his bachelor's degree in history, worked as a private chauffeur with the uniform and everything, and was selling bras at wholesale. Things took a major turn for him in 1988 when he started to work in a little pilot called the Seinfeld Chronicles. It's my very hilarious friend, Larry David. Larry David. Oh, look at him. Oh, look at him. He's already bored. He's already bored. How about 15 minutes? We apologize. It definitely comes out of your time, so that's a good thing. You're only gonna be with us for another
Had I not been, I would have been stuck in that show. Don, wait a second. So you're in Atlanta. You're doing this thing with with, with Sam Jackson. Yeah. Are you are you potentially playing golf with Sam today? You know, Sam has been on IR for a minute. I hope he comes off because I would love to. You know, we used to play a lot. But, What's IR? He's he's nursing an injury or 2. So reserve. Fingers crossed. How's how's his game? Sam was like a a 4. What? Wow. Yeah. Damn it. Wow. There's all these people. The game is just so easy to so many people. Well, you know, Sam, famously, you know, whenever he would get a gig, a part of his contract was they had to get him a membership to whatever local course there was because he's such a freak about it. So he no shit? Yeah. He played everywhere. I was like, you can do that? Sam also was, you know, mister if you force me, you're bringing me $900 in cash in an envelope the next day like a drug deal. I was like, this this dude's my hero. Yeah. That's what I was gonna say. Jason, you could Jason, right now, you see, you look down, he's he's got he's just gone on his phone, speed dial the CAA right now. He's like, what the fuck? Who do you guys about 12 country clubs short. Damn it. Yeah. Yes. Alright. Now how do you like how do you like Atlanta? I you know, I've worked there a lot, and and I always I always thought that it was not gonna be a place for me. And every time I work there, I just love it more and more and more. Are you enjoying yourself there? You've you've worked there a bunch. Yes? I've worked here a bunch because a lot of the Marvel stuff was here. Right. Yeah. Oh, right. And I've kinda been around it a little bit more, but this is probably the longest stretch that I'm gonna be here. So I'm looking forward to, like, getting up to the mountains and going to the lakes and just checking it all out. So so I did a movie there a long time ago in Atlanta during the summer. Did you guys shoot those all those Marvel movies in, like, the summertime? Because you can't breathe it's so hot. Hot Lana. Hot Lana. Yeah. Yeah. And and and how do you you're in those costumes.
Fermented fruit, they get tipsy. Probably not true. Probably impossible. But still, it was They're getting drunk off fermented marula fruit, basically. Exactly. Drunk elephants. Yes. And so I remember thinking, well, this is kind of my personality. Yeah. Should I call it drunk elephant? When you went to friends and you're like, drunk elephant, were most of them like, yeah, that's that's cute. Or were they like, this is a little weird? My best friend said, no way. I I she took me out to get pizza and she was like, I gotta tell you, I hate it. Yeah. I don't like it. She changed her mind quickly though. My mom didn't like it. My grandmother said it was the most asinine thing she'd ever heard. Yeah. But a lot of people said that sounds like a bar, pub. Yeah. I mean, were there any I don't know. People who were like, look, the result is you're not gonna sell this product. Like, any any professionals or people in the industry that you consulted with? Yes. I I hired a, so in 2013, when I launched the line on my own website in Houston, actually August 15th 2013. Yeah. I hired this big fancy publicist in New York and I was super excited to work with them and she actually asked me to put together a focus group. It was gonna cost me $30,000 to talk about the name. Oh, shoot. They would convene a focus group. It would cost $30,000 and you would pay them to find out what people thought. Okay? Right. Right. And? I knew what they would tell me. So I I got a new publicist. Oh, you decided not to spend the money because you knew people were gonna say hate the name. I knew. I knew what they would say. Oh, and by the way, the consultant was Guthy Ranker. I told her Yeah. I've chosen the name now. And she said, what is that? I said, drunk elephant. She said, I'm out. Wow. She's like, I'm not into the I'm not gonna She's out. Never heard from her again. Wow. You can listen to how I built this early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. For more deep dive and daily business content, listen to Wondery, the destination for business podcasts, with shows like How I Built This, Business Wars, The Best One Yet, Business Movers, and many, many more. Wondery means business.
